"When I was breaking down, this community held me up." -Sweet Magnolia
I'm a firm believer that building a community happens in repeated exposure and conversations with individuals.
I became friends with Clayton and Allison by having a great conversation with Clayton at Sam's birthday party years ago. We ran into each other again at another friend's gathering, exchanged contact information and made a plan to hang out. Then we just kept making and keeping plans to hang out. Now its been a couple of years and I consider the two of them good friends.
I became friends with Tanner by knowing that he was a Trigun fan in anime club. I saw him doing his work study job in college and made it a habit to swing by after a certain class to engage with him in anime conversation and chatted him up. Eventually we hung out and now we've been good mates for over a decade.
I became friends with Garrett by talking at work and realizing we had things in common. Eventually I started going over to his place and watching the Flash show with him and his family. We stopped watching Flash at some point but continued to connect and grab lunch every other month for years till he passed.
I can keep hitting you with examples, but these one on one scenarios also morphed into social groups and communities as we invite people into our circles and they get to know each other. They become aware of each other and we are rooting for each other. We share in our sad times and celebrate our victories together. They all started with conversations.
When we introduce social media into this mix, the game hasn't changed. Reach the fuck out. Get in the comments and talk with people. The social ques and rules may be different, as everything done there is public and can be interpreted in all kinds of ways. Without being able to make adjustments because we can see each other, its easy to be misconstrued...but the rules of reaching out haven't changed.
Keep sharing where you are and what you're into. And acknowledging and having conversations with people. Over time you will get to know people as individuals and build a relationship with them.
There will be people who will call you a reply guy. People who take this the wrong way. It doesn't matter. Don't for a second let that stop you. Think of it like dating. You should be reaching out and engaging with as many people as possible so that when one person doesn't connect, you haven't pinned all your hopes and dreams on them. You are just living your life and trying to connect with people. The people who keep showing up and putting that same energy back towards you become your community.
That's it. Get out there and get to work.